Me: Lord I'm fed up! I can't deal with this dependency of others. I'm so tired of everybody saying "you going through so hard right now because your blessing is right around the corner!" Well Lord, is this black people around the corner or is this the monthly cycle around the corner (my exact words)?
Jesus: Are you really fed up?
* complete silence*
Me: Huh?
*Laying there thinking*
Me: ..sigh..
~Gets up grabs my bible and iPad~
Asks myself "Am I really fed up?"
Have you ever gotten to a place where you believe God for a blessing your spirit man is so high and nobody can tell you that God wont do it. But then you get hit in that same area you wanted God to deliver you from? You find yourself sitting there like really, seriously, how long is this going to last because I'm seriously getting fed up with this! Then you begin notice that your situation is not changing for the better you then become completely fed up. Well that was me. I told God this and he said that if I was really FED UP, then I would just believe that whatever rut I'm in now He would get me out when he's ready. I really hope you all are catching on to where I'm going with this. If not lets go to scripture.
In John 6:35, Jesus says to the crowd of Jews who he had just fed that " I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty" ( John 6:35). As you all know, he isn't talking about natural bread but spiritual bread, spiritual satisfaction! So I had to interpret this in my own situation. Because I am fed up in the natural, because I don't have the job, the house, the man, the independence, I am fed up! I been in this stagnant place for too long! But Jesus said that if I believe in Him because He is the bread of life I will never, pretty much, be without. Am I spiritually fed to the point where I can't be fed up naturally?
I had to seriously ask myself, self, myself said huh? Hehe. But forreal though I had to ask myself, are you spiritually fed up? Are you earnestly seeking God for his satisfaction? Well at least I thought I was. In Philippians 4:12-13 Paul says that, he know what it is to be in need, and that he knows what it is to have plenty. He has learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. That he can do everything through him who gives me strength. Do I? Yes, I believe in God. Yes, I love Him. Yes, I'll do His will. Yes, I have chosen His path for my life but am I not satisfied in God yet to the point where I am so full of Him that the things I do not have, don't even phase me? Am I content? I decided to take a look at Asaph and realized, "like yo, that's where I want to be!" I want to get to the place where Asaph was when he said, " Whom have I in heaven but you?" " And earth has nothing I desire besides you" (Psalm 73:25). How awesome is that!? Look I'm not saying that I don't want God to bless me with the desires of my heart I'm just saying that I want to be fed up of God before those blessings come so I can know in my heart and in my mind that nothing is more satisfying than being fed up with the bread of life! Everything in life is meaningless without a fruitful relationship with God. You'll never be able to enjoy anything by seeking to gain for your own personal satisfaction.
"For he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things." Man, I want to be good! I want to be filled with good things! Good Godly things! Lets take a look at the story of David for a minute.
Before David became King David reached out to God while in the Desert of Judah, hiding from Saul, his enemy. He said in Psalm 63:1, " O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water."
David pretty much showed me, in Psalm 63:1 that God is the only one who can completely satisfy us not the things. Things, people and situations cannot not feed us, only take from us. They can take our hope and our trust, in God. Let's not be like the Israelites and say, "If only we had meat to eat!" but let's be like David and long for being spiritually fed up in Christ. The most signifcant part about David's Psalm was that he was in the desert when he spoke it to God. David was without, he didn't have anything but continuous praise and worship all the while Saul was looking to kill him. David already knew the calling that was on his life but he didn't know how or when he was going to see his blessings manifest. He just knew it was coming. Just before this, in Psalm 62:3 he asked God, " how long will you assault a man?" This shows us that he was definitely fed up with what was happening to him but then realized in Psalm 63 that he needed to be spiritually fed up with God to deal with the weight of the world and to deal with his adversaries such as Saul. We have to realize that man cannot live on bread alone, but in every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. So that man can't feed you, that woman can't feed you, that job can't feed you, that nice car can't feed you money can't feed you, in the way that God can feed you. He is the best satisfaction anyone can have all you gotta do is understand it and realize that being spiritually fed allows you to be naturally satisfied.
This is an honest post from my own personal struggle. I wanted to share, I needed to share because this is real life and I know that I'm not the only one who feels this way. But if you are really trying to go to a greater place in God, you have to be honest with yourself and be honest with his people. How can we expect to grow as brothers and sisters in Christ if we aren't all connected to the root?
So my question for you today is are you REALLY fed up?
Let us pray: Lord God first off let us thank you for your love, your mercy, your grace and for being our spiritual bread and water. Father God we thank you you for showing us, us before anyone else can Lord. We thank you for the urge to be spiritually fed up so that the weight of our circumstances can not feed our spirit because we know that things, people, and situations cannot give us the fulfillment that we so desire from you. Lord we ask that you give us the desire to seek you more, to be fed up of your bread and your water Lord, so that we may never be hungry nor thirsty again. In Jesus name we come into agreement and we receive this prayer and this word in grace in your name Father, Amen.
Love y'all! Like no, seriously.
Danni
